A word that has been running through my mind lately.
It's one thing to aspire to live a "purpose-driven" life; and another to be intentional about it. It becomes more challenging in moments whereby what I do don't seem to giving me that sense of fulfillment and accomplishment. In moment like these, I begin to ponder about the meaning of the word "PURPOSE".
I've reached the 1.5 year mark of my 3-years secondment stint. Just like that, in a blink of an eye! It felt like not so long ago I was almost drowning under the intensity of the BIT and frenzy of preparation for our assessment. And just like that, a bunch of us officially graduated from the Instructors' Graduation Ceremony on Thursday (10 Oct).
Apart from the physical stretch (mostly from having to stay awake the whole night), it wasn't as hellish as the ISP. Hence, in my lucid moments, I had some quiet time during the solo trek. It was my favourite part of the whole IGC as I got to think about this journey of instructor-hood as I trudged through the once-foreign-but-now-familiar terrain of Ubin. As I walked the stretch with limited lighting, I felt a sense of deja vu. I recalled for my ISP, I walked through a stretch at night struggling to be awake and be present. Surely, the thoughts that came like a flood were like these : "what the heck am I doing this for?" "why am I here in the first place???"; "is this worth it???"...just to list a few!
Similarly, these thoughts resurfaced during the solo night trek. But the difference now is I'm more aware of the path that I'm on. When I did the trek during ISP in 2017, it was to begin a new journey without knowing what lies ahead. 2 years on, the sentiments are somewhat different. Now that I know what's ahead of me and have been on some of these paths, the question I'm asking is "do I see myself continuing or there's another path that's meant for me?". A very hard question to answer. After all, being an OBS instructor was my youthful desire that I got to fulfill 10 years later. Still something that constantly amazes me and without a doubt, an assurance that my Abba Father knows my heart's desires and in His time, He brings them to fruition.
Having said that, there's a sensing that there's yet another path awaiting me. And I have to once again embrace the uncertainties that come with it, just as how it was when I embarked on my 3rd ISP. Lately, the word "PURPOSE" has stood out through various sources; articles, sharings by CE during the recent Townhall. Also the word "EMPOWERMENT" struck a chord with me. Still bits and pieces of the puzzle. This feeling of restlessness came much earlier than I expected. Yet in all these, I'm constantly reminded of how this 10-year journey unfolded. The unchanging principle in this wait is about "SURRENDER".
Surrendering my future. Surrendering my insecurities. Surrendering my control over my life. Surrendering my accomplishments. And the list goes on....
Back to familiar zone once again. Strangely.
But never fail, His word speaks loud and clear.
It's one thing to aspire to live a "purpose-driven" life; and another to be intentional about it. It becomes more challenging in moments whereby what I do don't seem to giving me that sense of fulfillment and accomplishment. In moment like these, I begin to ponder about the meaning of the word "PURPOSE".
I've reached the 1.5 year mark of my 3-years secondment stint. Just like that, in a blink of an eye! It felt like not so long ago I was almost drowning under the intensity of the BIT and frenzy of preparation for our assessment. And just like that, a bunch of us officially graduated from the Instructors' Graduation Ceremony on Thursday (10 Oct).
Apart from the physical stretch (mostly from having to stay awake the whole night), it wasn't as hellish as the ISP. Hence, in my lucid moments, I had some quiet time during the solo trek. It was my favourite part of the whole IGC as I got to think about this journey of instructor-hood as I trudged through the once-foreign-but-now-familiar terrain of Ubin. As I walked the stretch with limited lighting, I felt a sense of deja vu. I recalled for my ISP, I walked through a stretch at night struggling to be awake and be present. Surely, the thoughts that came like a flood were like these : "what the heck am I doing this for?" "why am I here in the first place???"; "is this worth it???"...just to list a few!
Similarly, these thoughts resurfaced during the solo night trek. But the difference now is I'm more aware of the path that I'm on. When I did the trek during ISP in 2017, it was to begin a new journey without knowing what lies ahead. 2 years on, the sentiments are somewhat different. Now that I know what's ahead of me and have been on some of these paths, the question I'm asking is "do I see myself continuing or there's another path that's meant for me?". A very hard question to answer. After all, being an OBS instructor was my youthful desire that I got to fulfill 10 years later. Still something that constantly amazes me and without a doubt, an assurance that my Abba Father knows my heart's desires and in His time, He brings them to fruition.
Having said that, there's a sensing that there's yet another path awaiting me. And I have to once again embrace the uncertainties that come with it, just as how it was when I embarked on my 3rd ISP. Lately, the word "PURPOSE" has stood out through various sources; articles, sharings by CE during the recent Townhall. Also the word "EMPOWERMENT" struck a chord with me. Still bits and pieces of the puzzle. This feeling of restlessness came much earlier than I expected. Yet in all these, I'm constantly reminded of how this 10-year journey unfolded. The unchanging principle in this wait is about "SURRENDER".
Surrendering my future. Surrendering my insecurities. Surrendering my control over my life. Surrendering my accomplishments. And the list goes on....
Back to familiar zone once again. Strangely.
But never fail, His word speaks loud and clear.
"Preserve me, O God, for in You I put my trust.
O my soul, you have said to the Lord,
“You are my Lord,
My goodness is nothing apart from You.”
for the saints who are on the earth,
“They are the excellent ones, in whom is all my delight.”
Their sorrows shall be multiplied who hasten after another god;
Their drink offerings of blood I will not offer,
Nor take up their names on my lips.
O Lord, You are the portion of my inheritance and my cup;
You maintain my lot.
The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places;
Yes, I have a good inheritance.
I will bless the Lord who has given me counsel;
My heart also instructs me in the night seasons.
I have set the Lord always before me;
Because He is at my right hand I shall not be moved.
Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoices;
My flesh also will rest in hope.
For You will not leave my soul in Sheol,
Nor will You allow Your Holy One to see corruption.
You will show me the path of life;
In Your presence is fullness of joy;
At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore."
- Psalms 16 -
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