A brand new post after 2 years to jot the milestones of 2018 - a year in which I embarked on a brand new journey in my career.
Nevertheless, I bit the bullet and hung onto the promise and hope that all these too shall pass!
Some snapshots to mark the grueling trainings that turned us from "zero to hero". Needless to say, our skin colour also changed.
During my 1st Co-Instruct with Dylan, I nearly called time-out on the very night when we had a very cold and dreary night at Jelutong. I will never forget how lost I felt at that moment. That week was such an important wake-up call for me to realise that I'm no longer operating as a teacher in a school. What I assumed I was doing ok or at times excellent in school wasn't the case now. I felt so crushed and plenty of self-doubts for sure.
But such an important and timely realisation. I'm thankful that I had to endure such a hard heart lesson.
My 2nd Co with Jacob was slightly more manageable but still the dissonance was great and I still felt so overwhelmed by the many things that I had to adapt to before the assessment the following week. Throughout this time, the one thought that kept bugging me was "what if I fail the assessment?" and I believe that was the trigger to all my stress. Only when I really surrendered this fear and told God come what may I shall just trust Him and His words for me to be a guard-post in this season that I truly felt a burden lifted off my chest. I decided there and then that I will see my assessment as the 3rd Co-Instruct and continue to tap on the many learning moments through it.
3-7 July was the week of my 1st Assessment. Had a very frank session with Sherman (assessor) and Nadiah. Told them my state of readiness was that of going into a 3rd Co-Instruct as there will be a few firsts for me during the week. But I will still give my best shot.
Without doubt, the entire week was purely orchestrated by God. From the assessors, weather, tidal conditions to the participants, everything was near ideal. Except for the 1 unmotivated participant whom I had a tough time dealing with on the first day, there wasn't anything I felt went seriously amiss. In fact, because of 1 less participant, I ended up having 1 less lane to dispatch for the belay school and height activity. Haha....blessing in disguise? Maybe :)
Everyday I awoke to the day with a deep and immense sense of peace, which wasn't so evident in the last few courses. It was also the 1st week when we commenced the 40days fast & prayer. I felt led to fast coffee as it was the first thing I turned to for an energy booster to kick-start the day. Instead, to allow the Holy Spirit to be my energy booster.
His presence was definitely tangible.
The result of my assessment: PASSED!
I was so relieved and all those bottled anxieties and months of uncertainties just vanished almost instantly.
The most pleasant surprise was that Sherman was also a believer and his congratulatory message to me included Matt 5:16 - "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in Heaven."
Words indeed.
30th Jul - 3 Aug: my 1st solo
13th - 17th Aug: 2nd solo
Interestingly, my first 2 solo courses involved PHSS and I don't think it was a coincidence. It was all in His good timing. Something I would not have forsaw or perceived.
A journey that took me almost 10years. Very surreal at times to know that I'm finally an Instructor with OBS. No doubt His ways are higher than mine and His thoughts aren't mine.
Looking forward to more Spirit-led encounters with both colleagues & participants in this brand new adventure I've embarked on.
Jan - June: Basic Instructor Training (BIT)
What a deceiving term! It wasn't at all basic! Many times during the course of the training I found myself questioning if I did the right thing to make a switch. It has been such a long time that I felt so inadequate and I realised that feeling of incompetency can be what deters people from stepping out to try something new. It didn't help that every Friday was an assessment of the modular we had to go through during the week. It was literally CONTINUAL ASSESSMENT!Nevertheless, I bit the bullet and hung onto the promise and hope that all these too shall pass!
July - Sept : Co-Instructions & Assessment
Plunging into the life of being an instructor during the 5days observation and subsequent co-instruct phase plunged me into a serious state of dissonance. It wasn't the physical drain that got to me but the mental and emotional fatigue of having to manage so many aspects at the same time.During my 1st Co-Instruct with Dylan, I nearly called time-out on the very night when we had a very cold and dreary night at Jelutong. I will never forget how lost I felt at that moment. That week was such an important wake-up call for me to realise that I'm no longer operating as a teacher in a school. What I assumed I was doing ok or at times excellent in school wasn't the case now. I felt so crushed and plenty of self-doubts for sure.
But such an important and timely realisation. I'm thankful that I had to endure such a hard heart lesson.
My 2nd Co with Jacob was slightly more manageable but still the dissonance was great and I still felt so overwhelmed by the many things that I had to adapt to before the assessment the following week. Throughout this time, the one thought that kept bugging me was "what if I fail the assessment?" and I believe that was the trigger to all my stress. Only when I really surrendered this fear and told God come what may I shall just trust Him and His words for me to be a guard-post in this season that I truly felt a burden lifted off my chest. I decided there and then that I will see my assessment as the 3rd Co-Instruct and continue to tap on the many learning moments through it.
3-7 July was the week of my 1st Assessment. Had a very frank session with Sherman (assessor) and Nadiah. Told them my state of readiness was that of going into a 3rd Co-Instruct as there will be a few firsts for me during the week. But I will still give my best shot.
Without doubt, the entire week was purely orchestrated by God. From the assessors, weather, tidal conditions to the participants, everything was near ideal. Except for the 1 unmotivated participant whom I had a tough time dealing with on the first day, there wasn't anything I felt went seriously amiss. In fact, because of 1 less participant, I ended up having 1 less lane to dispatch for the belay school and height activity. Haha....blessing in disguise? Maybe :)
Everyday I awoke to the day with a deep and immense sense of peace, which wasn't so evident in the last few courses. It was also the 1st week when we commenced the 40days fast & prayer. I felt led to fast coffee as it was the first thing I turned to for an energy booster to kick-start the day. Instead, to allow the Holy Spirit to be my energy booster.
His presence was definitely tangible.
The result of my assessment: PASSED!
I was so relieved and all those bottled anxieties and months of uncertainties just vanished almost instantly.
The most pleasant surprise was that Sherman was also a believer and his congratulatory message to me included Matt 5:16 - "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in Heaven."
Words indeed.
30th Jul - 3 Aug: my 1st solo
13th - 17th Aug: 2nd solo
Interestingly, my first 2 solo courses involved PHSS and I don't think it was a coincidence. It was all in His good timing. Something I would not have forsaw or perceived.
3rd - 7th Sept: 3rd solo
A very magical group whom I will fondly remember for a long time. Their sharings & notes of appreciation were akin to my Teachers' Day gifts that were missing for the first time this year.A journey that took me almost 10years. Very surreal at times to know that I'm finally an Instructor with OBS. No doubt His ways are higher than mine and His thoughts aren't mine.
Looking forward to more Spirit-led encounters with both colleagues & participants in this brand new adventure I've embarked on.
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