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L.I.F.E

Timed out for 2 weeks and here I am again.

So much to process in the last 2 weeks since the sudden passing of At. Peggy and till now, it's still so surreal. None of us have any answers to the myraid of questions going through our head but more and more so, I come to accept that getting the answer is not as important as knowing His grand scheme of things admist the circumstances we are in. Its not all that easy to come to terms with and my heart is still heavy.

Growing up has its pains and one of them is to see our loved ones fading away. It has dawned on me how much my grandparents have aged and sometimes I can't help but tear when I recall the times when they would carry me to the playground and buy kachang puteh. That was like eons ago but ever so vivid in my memory. Grandpa is recovering well from his radiation treatment a year back but has this degeneration of the spine. Thank God he has no severe pain whatsoever. Just got to be careful in his steps. Grandma showing signs of Parkinson's Disease, so the doctor said recently when she saw him for a fever.

Facts of life. No one gets younger with each day. One fine day, we will leave this earth.
I know but I don't want it to happen. Sometimes I would wish that I would 'go' before any of my loved ones do.

At. Peggy's departure really got me to realise that nothing and no one is to be taken for granted. If there's any bitterness or unforgiveness towards anyone, I should get it fixed and not live to regret when I miss the chance to resolve things. Spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. Its really true how the closer you are with a person, the greater the disappointment and hurt when he/she fails us in some ways.

One life to live. Why live feeling burdened when I am to live tasting the sweetness of freedom? Time to learn to let go again. Don't play tug-of-war.

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