ONLY BY GRACE

"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson So true, so true this saying. In a world that is so full of unreal things, we have to retain what is most real i.e OURSELVES!

Its been a while since I had some solid time of solitude. With Joani not around yesterday and for the rest of this week, I have no choice but to 'entertain' myself. For the past few weeks, every free time I had was spent with her and so it was a little weird to have to return to my 'palace' after lessons and not meet in her room or venture to Jurong Point. Well, its something I have to eventually be accustomed to as she & Addie won't be around NIE very soon. Initially, I dreaded the thought of having to be alone. For someone who gets restless easily, being in solitude is the last thing on my mind! I need to be on the move all the time and its hard to get me to rest for long. But as I had the whole of last night and this entire morning to myself, I realised that solitude has much to offer, contrary to what I imagine it to be. I kind of realised that I would want to avoid being in solitude because it: 1) forces me to exercise discipline, which I lack most of the t...

True enough,this year's CNY is different from previous years. We didn't go to our eldest granduncle's place as we always did because he has passed on and his family not quite keen on celebrating also. Hence our usual Tan clan's dinner will be at a later date (31 Jan- Sat). Not much visiting but it was a refreshing change in the way we celebrate Day 1 of CNY. Went back to our old estate to visit our ex-neighbours. As usual, we were told that "我们都长大了". Its true. Uncle & Auntie still remembered how small and kiddy we were and not having seen us for a while, the change is stark. Its good to see that they are still the same - hospitable, friendly and treating us as their own. I met their grand-daughter who is just so adorable! Very intelligent kid who has a flare for photography! She is quite tech-savvy for her age (2 yrs plus); able to use her parents' handphones as though she has been having one for years! With the little darling who made my day! For the...

Its the Ang Pow frenzy yet again (albiet smaller packets this year) :) In a blink of an eye, the New Year (Chinese) is back and its time to meet up with the folks again. Somehow, the excitement to the new year is getting more 'cold' and the hype is definitely fizzling out as compared to when I was younger. Besides the shopping for new clothes, which is a MUST (esp for gals) and never a stale activity, everything else seems to be just part of the annual boring routine of visiting from house to house, meeting relatives whom I've never seen for more than twice a year and answering questions that I would very much wish I have the answers to! Having said that, I reckon this to be part and parcel of the growing up process where I begin to look beyond the surface of such festive gatherings. I guess its the part of me that is beginning to really understand that there's definitely so much more to life than just the hype of things! GIVE ME MORE CONCRETE STUFF! Reunion dinner this...

My favourite haunt in NIE - Joani's room in Hall 1. Hall 1 is slowly becoming my new residence in NIE! :) These days, I spent more time in her room than in mine for reasons that I don't which to keep mentioning. Sigh. Oh and by the way, I'm now in her hall. Staying overnight. Aidah, Joani & myself have been spending incredibly alot of time together in the last few weeks since school started. I guess its because we all know that in a few weeks time, we won't be seeing one another in NIE campus for a good 10 weeks ( Addie & Joani off for their practicuum). So we are trying real hard to make whatever time we have left memorable. EEEksss...sounds as though we are some lovers parting! But honestly, its going to be real 'quiet' on my end when those 2 crankie nuts leave. I won't know who to jio for dinner or jalan jalaning at JP anymore. Also, no more homecook food by Joani Lim! Not looking forward to those days man. As always, Joani & myself will attem...

An amazing lesson from a dog. Live each day with unbridled exuberance & joy, seize each moment and follow your heart!

Just returned from Uncle John's wake. The feeling is surreal. It was not too long ago that I saw him around in church, mingling with people with his trademark cheery smile and friendly disposition. Despite his illness, he sure looked good and was often in high spirits. Who would have thought the next time I meet him would be at his wake tonight. Throughout the week updates on Uncle John's condition came in fast & furious. Didn't really know what and how to pray. Images of my encounters with him came flashing back. He's a man of few words yet full of peace. He's the kind of person you would want to have around to stabilize things. In his own simple ways, he became a giant in the influence he made. Looking back at his life re-emphasized today's sharing by Jo Chean on 'Significance'. What determines our sense of importance? Uncle John knew his significance as a person and that there was nothing to stop him from living out the rich life he had. Cancer s...

Its the 2nd week of school and muscles are aching non-stop from the constant physical activities. At this moment, my left foot seems to have a bad muscle strain. Don't even know how it came about; all I remembered was sitting down listening to Joani talk and then the next moment, I realised my foot hurts! Hope it subsides in the later part of the day. Anyway, I was watching "Ladder 49" 2 nights ago (ok..I'm real late in catching the show but better late than never!) and I just love the way the show ended. The show's plot was very simple and no big hoo-ha actions but to me it ended on a big bang with this 1-liner by John Travolta, " CELEBRATE LIFE ". He was giving an eulogy for his team-mate who died in the line of duty and he mentioned that because of him, he knows that when tomorrow comes, the team will be on the fire-engine and going about what they should do. Therefore, they were not to moan over his death but to celebrate his life and for the legacy...

The new maxim Joani and myself came up with for this new semester (at least). For her, its more on saving up and not spending that extravangantly. As for me, no specific resolution but more of wanting to be better than what I was last semester. A new year to refine those rough edges. Its just the 2nd day of the new term and somehow, it feels different. Quieter and so much more mellowed down. Maybe we have all gotten use to the flow of things in NIE and so the novelty of the first sem has died off. We seem more detached and engaged in our own stuff. Maybe when we slowly regain the momentum of things, normalcy will resume. After all, we had a break for almost 6weeks! Anyhow, lessons seem to be promising and am looking forward to them. Well talking about a new beginning for the new term, I had an unforgettable morning. Firstly, overslept and was 20mins late for first lesson with Mike McNeill! If Yixin didn't call me, I would have totally slept through the 2 hours lesson! Then another ...

Above all else, guard your heart. Protect the part of you which is most precious and vulnerable. It all begins in there. Beauty starts with and in the heart. Its unmistakable. You will never miss it. What makes a person beautiful is not what you can see on the surface, it goes all the way into the deep deep deep recesses of the heart. Are you beautiful?

This week seems to be one of catching up with old friends. 'Old' being friends from long-time ago (secondary school mates). First, I managed to locate Rachael Tan, my bestest friend in sec school, on Facebook. Chatted online for a short while and came to learn of a few shocking updates from her. Totally unexpected and in the last 7-8 years when we lost touch, so much have happened. So many changes. Then today met up with Mel Tan. (hmmm..i seem to have an affinity with people surnamed 'Tan'). Again, we both have not met for a while and it felt good to be able to catch up with each other again. Had a great dinner at Waraku and chit chat like nobody's business! Talked about work, Singaporean's ugly side (absence of social grace) and personal updates. Conversation of varied topics. On our way home, she showed me pictures of her parents and we both commented that they have aged. That's when we realised that WE ARE ALL GROWN UP! Its been 10 years since we graduate...

Another year has just ended and a new one is about to begin. Not sure what will be install for me this year, nonetheless, I'm anticipating with great expectations! As 2008 quietly slips away to make way for 2009, I began to just take stock of what were some of the significant milestones of 2008 and they are as follow: 1. Jan - July : Last 6 months to my 1.5years of contract teaching in Pei Hwa Secondary. 1-and-a-half years, mind you! Felt as though I was a qualified teacher already :). Mixed feelings upon having to leave but I was looking forward to a new beginning at NIE, after the rather agonizing waiting process. The whole journey before entering NIE was one with many twists and turns, notwithstanding frustrations and angst, but in retrospect, it was worthwhile. Courtesy of my aunt, I actually forgot to make mention about the Hokkaido trip with my bro and her! Haha...silly me! Well, it sure felt as though the trip was a few years back and not that recent! :) Come to think of it,...