CNY this year saw us having an additional member - Chung En; the sister's bf. As expected, I will be asked when will my turn come etc. I don't know if there's a tinge of jealousy or envy but I definitely did not enjoy the 'attention' surely. Thankfully, the relatives were rather sensitive and were not incessant in their questioning and advising. But still….I wished I was alone somewhere else.
"Commit your works to the Lord, and your thoughts will be established." - Proverbs 16:3 -
The older I get, the more pensive I get about CNY. I know the significance of CNY in my head, but I don't seem to be able to fully embrace the family-ness in my heart this year. Maybe this feeling I am getting is 自找 and like my Aunt Joan said, "move on".
I hope I don't lose my security because of the pressure from others to find a man.
I also don't want to lose my sanity fighting all the negative thoughts and feelings.
Oh God, You know my innermost thoughts and desires before I utter them. Hear me I pray. I want to always honor You in my thoughts, words and actions. Forgive me for the times when I have dishonor You. Grant me the serenity and peace to handle and accept what comes my way. All this I pray in Your most precious Name.
Amen.
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